Negotiation Skills for the 21st Century: Getting Past No by William Ury

Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations A Book Review

Have you ever faced a situation where someone keeps saying no to you, no matter how reasonable or beneficial your proposal is? Have you ever felt frustrated, angry, or helpless when dealing with a stubborn boss, an irate customer, or a deceitful coworker? If so, you are not alone. Negotiation is a vital skill for everyone, whether in business, politics, or personal life. But sometimes, negotiation can be very challenging, especially when the other side is hostile, aggressive, or uncooperative.

Getting past no pdf

That's why you need to read Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations, a book by William Ury, one of the world's leading experts on negotiation and mediation. In this book, Ury offers a proven breakthrough process for turning adversaries into negotiating partners. With state-of-the-art negotiation and mediation strategies designed for the twenty-first century, Getting Past No will help you deal with challenging times, difficult people, and tough negotiations.

In this article, we will review the main ideas and benefits of the book, and show you how you can apply them in your own situations. Whether you want to resolve a conflict, close a deal, persuade someone, or achieve your goals, this book will give you the tools and techniques you need to get past no.

The Five Steps of Breakthrough Negotiation

The core of the book is the five-step process that Ury calls breakthrough negotiation. This process is based on the principle that you cannot control the other side's behavior, but you can control your own. By changing your approach and attitude, you can influence the other side's response and outcome. The five steps are:

Step One: Go to the Balcony

The first step is to go to the balcony. This means that you need to detach yourself from your emotions and reactions, and take a mental step back from the situation. By doing this, you can stay calm and focused, avoid being provoked or manipulated, and see the big picture.

To go to the balcony, you can use some techniques such as:

• Breathing deeply and slowly

• Counting to ten or repeating a mantra

• Asking yourself what your interests and goals are

• Reminding yourself of the consequences of losing control

• Thinking of the other side as a partner, not an enemy

Step Two: Step to Their Side

The second step is to step to their side. This means that you need to understand and acknowledge the other side's perspective, feelings, and needs. By doing this, you can build rapport and trust, reduce hostility and defensiveness, and create a positive atmosphere for negotiation.

To step to their side, you can use some techniques such as:

• Listening actively and attentively

• Asking open-ended questions and paraphrasing

• Using neutral and respectful language

• Expressing empathy and appreciation

• Finding areas of agreement or common ground

Step Three: Reframe

The third step is to reframe. This means that you need to change the way the other side sees the problem, the solution, or the relationship. By doing this, you can shift the focus from positions to interests, from demands to options, and from confrontation to collaboration.

To reframe, you can use some techniques such as:

• Asking why or why not questions to uncover underlying interests

• Using hypothetical questions or examples to generate alternatives

• Using positive or neutral terms instead of negative or accusatory ones

• Using "I" statements instead of "you" statements to express your views

• Using "we" statements instead of "I" or "you" statements to emphasize cooperation

Step Four: Build Them a Golden Bridge

The fourth step is to build them a golden bridge. This means that you need to make it easy and attractive for the other side to say yes to your proposal. By doing this, you can overcome their resistance and objections, satisfy their interests and needs, and make them feel that they have won something.

To build them a golden bridge, you can use some techniques such as:

• Involving them in the process of generating and evaluating options

• Offering them choices and flexibility

• Addressing their concerns and fears

• Giving them face and recognition

• Using objective criteria or standards to justify your proposal

Step Five: Use Power to Educate

The fifth and final step is to use power to educate. This means that you need to persuade the other side that they have something to lose if they do not agree with you, and something to gain if they do. By doing this, you can increase their motivation and incentive, create a sense of urgency and importance, and protect yourself from being exploited or taken advantage of.

To use power to educate, you can use some techniques such as:

• Explaining the benefits of your proposal and the costs of not agreeing

• Showing them your best alternative to a negotiated agreement (BATNA)

• Using third parties or experts to support your position or proposal

• Using deadlines or time limits to create pressure or leverage

• Using rewards or sanctions to reinforce positive or negative behavior

Conclusion

Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations is a book that can help anyone who wants to improve their negotiation skills and outcomes. It offers a practical and effective process for turning adversaries into negotiating partners, based on the latest research and practice in negotiation and mediation. By following the five steps of breakthrough negotiation, you can go to the balcony, step to their side, reframe, build them a golden bridge, and use power to educate. By doing so, you can get past no and reach agreements that satisfy both sides' needs.

If you are interested in learning more about this book and its author, you can visit William Ury's website, where you can find more information, resources, and testimonials. You can also order the book online from various platforms such as Amazon or Barnes & Noble. Alternatively, you can download a PDF version of the book from the Internet Archive, where you can also find other books by William Ury on negotiation.

FAQs

Here are some frequently asked questions about the book and the topic of negotiation.

Where can I get the book?

You can order the book online from various platforms such as Amazon or Barnes & Noble. Alternatively, you can download a PDF version of the book from the Internet Archive, where you can also find other books by William Ury on negotiation.

Is there a PDF version of the book available online?

Yes, there is. You can download a PDF version of the book from the Internet Archive, where you can also find other books by William Ury on negotiation.

What are some other books by William Ury on negotiation?

William Ury is a co-author of the best-selling book Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, which introduces the concept of principled negotiation and the method of interest-based bargaining. He is also the author of Getting to Yes with Yourself: How to Get What You Truly Want, which shows how to negotiate with yourself and overcome inner obstacles. He is also the author of The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes, which teaches how to say no without damaging relationships or losing opportunities. He is also the author of The Third Side: Why We Fight and How We Can Stop, which explores how to prevent, resolve, and contain conflicts in society.

How can I learn more about negotiation skills and strategies?

Besides reading books on negotiation, you can also take online courses, watch videos, listen to podcasts, or attend workshops or seminars on negotiation. Some examples of online resources are:

• Successful Negotiation: Essential Strategies and Skills, a course offered by the University of Michigan on Coursera.

• Negotiation and Conflict Management, a course offered by the University of Notre Dame on edX.

• Negotiation Skills Training, a course offered by Skill Boosters on Udemy.

• The Art of Negotiation, a video by William Ury on TEDx Talks.

• How To Negotiate Like A Pro, a podcast episode by Life Kit from NPR.

• Services, a page where you can find information about William Ury's consultation and training services on negotiation and mediation.

How can I contact William Ury for consultation or training?

You can contact William Ury through his website, www.williamury.com, where you can find his email address, phone number, and social media accounts. You can also fill out a form on his website to request his services or invite him to speak at your event. 71b2f0854b